Q: Damn You Banana? What the Hell?
A: I am so sick of this question. Look, here's the deal: Woolhouse likes drawing pictures of Apple and Banana doin' stuff. Kris didn't think it was enough for a website, so Kris put up a Totally Pointless Film. That made Woolhouse jealous, so he got a reporter to write news stories. Then Kris made himself Editor. Then Donald the Purplepumkinman came out of no where and bullied his way onto the scene. And we were like, "What the hell?" And it's snowballed from there. I won't even mention what went down when Rornak the Deer God showed up.

Q: Wait . . . Rornak the "Deer God?" What the Hell?
A: As most people don't know, all animals are represented in the heavens by a petty, vindictive god. It just so happens that Rornak is an attention whore. He is not a successful attention whore, however, thus he appears almost exclusively on damnyoubanana.com.

Q: What is noun?
A: Person, place, or thing.

Q: When Donald the Purplepumkinman going to pay up on his child support?
A: When he is out of the red. Yes, Donald use to be a successful child star, then a semi-successful Broadway actor, then a deadbeat dad, then a recluse, then a crack head, and now a co-star on damnyoubanana.com. However, this site makes zero money. Actually, with time lost skipping work to update and bandwidth, we are also in the red. Good God . . . we need cash!

Q: Is their anything funnier then a clown on fire?
A: Excellent question, deserving of an excellent answer. Renowned philosopher and reviled philanthropist Dennis Miller first raised the idea of the hilarious nature of the fire-induced clown. However, a crocodile dressed as a clown, eating a mime, is just one example of things that are at least as funny, if not more so. For additional information, write or call your congressperson.

Q: What do you like on your pizza?
A: Macaroni and cheese.

Q: Why aren't there more Action Figure Theaters? Those rock my sock, jock!
A: The short reason is that they are very time consuming, the computer program we use to do it with is a Mac program, Woolhouse has a PC, and Kris is lazy. I guess that really isn't a short answer. A shorter answer would be that we don't want our toys to be anything less then "mint," so we only do them when we get a "comedy gold" idea worthy. That answer wasn't much shorter I guess. I need a drink.

Q: Are any of these question actually asked to you frequently?
A: The last one, the one about the Action Figure Theaters, was asked by two guys. And Woolhouse's mom wanted to know Kris's birthday once, but she has this weird obsession with him that Kris plays like a fiddle to get snacks and other "favors" out of her. And at least a couple people have seen the web site and proclaimed, "Damn you banana? What the hell?" I'm sure of it.

Q: Who the hell dresses you all?
A: Not the "Gay Eye" guys. They hate us..

Q: How can I get the cute boy/girl in class to like me?
A: Not to put down boy-girls, but you should really try to get a date with someone that is a single sex. Like either just a boy, or only a girl. Boy-girls carry a lot of baggage- emotional baggage- and you're far too young to get wrapped up in that. Plus, sometimes their penises accidentally get stuck in their own vaginas. It's weird, and can't be sanitary.

Q: Sometimes my mom and dad hit me.
A: Uh-uh! That wasn't a question. Please send your question to us again when you learn a basic understanding of the English language, and then we'll attempt to answer it. No promises!

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