This is a Test Page, cock.

The Banana presents Your Weekly Horoscopes.
For the week of February 10th - 16th.

If your birthday is this week:

So . . . it's your birthday, eh? Then we'll leave out the part about the inoperable . . . well, we've said too much. Have a piece of cake for us!

Aries March 21 – April 19:

A small child will draw a picture for you, but try and refrain from putting it on your refridgerator, as it is terrible and will make you sad everytime you eat tuna noodle casserole.

Taurus April 20 – May 20:

You look like you could use another beer. Because you look so damn lonely and pathetic.

Gemini May 21 – June 21:

Resist the urge to have sex with the pizza man, as he is behind on alimony payments, and will still make you pay for your Meat Lovers..

Cancer June 22 - July 22:

Your special ability to fart in different tones and inflections will go undiscovered when you become addicted to shoving action figures in your butt.

Leo July 23 – August 22:

Your bid for the Presidency of the United States will end before it begins when you reveal your allegiance to the dark side way before you should have.

Virgo August 23 – September 22:

You're beautiful enough to get away with murder. How much to kill Virgo's business partner?

Libra September 23 – October 23:

That lettuce you'll eat for lunch tomorrow is really expired. You should cover it in more salad dressing; that should kill that bacteria. Or at least cover up the taste of rotting vegetables.

Scorpio October 24 – November 21:

It really kills the mood when you say, "Don't cross the streams," while playing "Swords" in the bathroom.

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21:

Your discovery of the best tasting cream soda in the world proves just how sad your life is.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19:

Even though you were promptly eliminated from America's Got Talent, at least now the world knows that someone, somewhere can belch all the words to "Kung-Fu Fighting."

Aquarius January 20 – February 18:

It may seem like a good idea to you, but a.) the world has enough sequels to Free Willy, and b.) it just would not work if you replaced the whale with that Hamburger-Helper glove-guy.

Pisces February 19 – March 20:

Wouldn't it be weird if your whole life were being filmed for the entire world to watch? It probably isnt, but just in case, you should download and masturbate to much less degrading and distasteful pornography in the future.